Tag: funny
member name: Jennifer H.
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July 20, 2008 10:03 AM EDT --
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
The . . .
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August 16, 2008 09:36 AM EDT --
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's . . .
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October 08, 2008 07:53 AM EDT --
He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
Three words: carpal paw syndrome. . . .
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October 24, 2008 09:00 AM EDT --
THE
RANGE
OF
8
INCHES
LONG.
THE
FUNCTIONING
OF
WHICH
IS
ENJOYED
BY
MEMBERS
OF
BOTH
SEXES.
IS
. . .
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July 24, 2008 10:25 AM EDT --
“I’m hungry.” = I’m hungry.
“I’m sleepy.” = I’m sleepy.
“I’m tired.” = I’m tired.
“Do you want to go to a movie?” = I’d eventually like to have sex with you.
“Can I take you out to . . .
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July 25, 2008 09:38 AM EDT --
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft . house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A . . .
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July 25, 2008 09:45 PM EDT --
You can tell if your cat has a problem by asking yourself the following questions:
1) Does your cat sleep 22 hours a day, and then spend the other two hours in non-stop eating?
2) Does your cat . . .
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July 26, 2008 08:53 AM EDT --
1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."
2. "Retaining water ? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
And the Number 1 Fatal Thing To Say If Your Wife Is . . .
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July 27, 2008 03:57 AM EDT --
After all the background checks, interviews
and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed . . .
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July 29, 2008 03:29 AM EDT --
10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car . . .
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August 03, 2008 06:42 PM EDT --
Sorry this Is the Most boring Birthday ever sooo Here Is a Joke for you a Friend sent Me..
(If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humor)
The other night I was . . .
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August 04, 2008 11:03 PM EDT --
Enclosed you will find my 2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon . . .
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August 06, 2008 07:25 AM EDT --
1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.
3. No Male can possible know all THE RULES.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, . . .
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August 06, 2008 07:34 AM EDT --
The title says it all.. Just Please Be Nice If you can Help your self Lmao Funny Is Ok :)
Have fun with this **HUGS**
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August 12, 2008 11:25 AM EDT --
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite . . .
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August 15, 2008 07:52 AM EDT --
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
- Indubitably;
- Innovative;
- Preliminary;
- Proliferation.
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
- Specificity; . . .
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July 21, 2008 09:12 PM EDT --
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.
Arnold Schwarzenegger . . .
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July 28, 2008 07:57 AM EDT --
1. Three words: eat the check.
2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"
3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
4. Tie tablecloth . . .
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August 15, 2008 02:41 PM EDT --
Name someone famous Or Not Famous That Just Makes you sooooo Mad you would love to slap the heck Out of If you could and they were stand right In front of you and couldnt Move LMBO
I Have to Pick . . .
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August 20, 2008 02:51 AM EDT --
GARBAGE: A collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mom assigns to a different family member each week, then winds up doing herself.
GENIUSES: Amazingly, all of Mom's kids.
GUM: . . .
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